Mothers Know Everything
by Yami Flo
Summary: Magic Touch Universe."Mom? There is something I must tell you..." "Is Mikaela pregnant?" "NO!" "Nevermind. Is Bumblebee pregnant?" "MOM!" Or where nobody is pregnant or ever was, but Judy insists she already has lot of grandchildren anyway...


Character(s): Sam Witwicky, Judy Witwicky, OCs

Warnings: Part of the 'Magic Touch' Universe. Not canon-compliant with the second or third movies, AllSpark!Sam (yes, it's been done and overdone, but I find it fun anyway. :p

Summary: "Mom? There is something I must tell you..." "Is Mikaela pregnant?" "NO!" "Nevermind. Is Bumblebee pregnant?" "MOM!" Or where nobody is pregnant or ever was, but Judy insists she already has lot of grandchildren anyway...

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**Mothers Know Everything**

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Samuel James Witwicky took a deep breath before speaking to his mother. All right. No pressure. He could speak freely. She knew what happened with the Allspark and Mission City and the rogue Police car and the Autobots.

As if he could hide the fact he had almost been killed by evil aliens after being abducted by a secret agency when he had to go back home once everything was finished.

She had freaked out, but honestly, he could understand. He had expected that. What he hadn't expected at the time was her trying to bludgeon Bumblebee with a hammer for putting him in danger.

From the look of disbelief she had received from just about everyone, neither had the Autobots.

The idea was just ridiculous. How could an organic female stand against a giant mech? Ok, Bumblebee was the shortest of the bunch what with Jazz being... deactivated; but still, next to a human, he was fucking huge!

Then again, his mother wasn't exactly the most normal person around. Not everybody had the guts to threaten a federal agent with a baseball bat or punch him in the face when he came back to your house...

Ironhide had been somehow impressed by the courage – for Sam, it was more pure rage – in front of the giant warriors. He had said she reminded him of 'Chromia', whoever she was. The topkick had even offered to teach her how to shoot in case she had to defend herself against Decepticons who might attack her.

Somehow, it made sense. You never knew what the Decepticons were up to, and Sam - even though he didn't want to see his parents involved - knew the Weapons Specialist had a point.

Still, his mother with a gun... He had shuddered.

To the distress of just about everybody, she had accepted. And the worst part was she wasn't too bad at it.

Sam hoped she would never find out who had really ravaged her garden, or there would be hell to pay.

On the bright side, once she had managed to calm down, she had welcomed the Autobots quite well for protecting her little boy. And once Bumblebee had promised he would return Sam on time every night for his curfew, she had warmed up to him.

Ron Witwicky, for his part, had been a nervous wreck for some time before he managed to grasp that aliens were real and there was one assigned to the protection of his family. He was still wary of Bumblebee and the other Autobots who came sometimes, but at least he wasn't fussing about it.

But Sam just knew he would if he ever learned what exactly his son had become with the destruction of the Allspark. His mother too.

But he had to tell them... or at least, tell one of them. He just couldn't hide everything from them, even if he tried and had managed to do so until now. Or at least he hoped he had.

The incident with the dishwasher had been a close call, though.

Too bad the Autobots didn't think he should hide anymore; Ratchet had been adamant that he tell one of his creators; so had Optimus, although he had been much calmer than the medic.

So, here he was, standing in front of Judy Witwicky as she read another one of those romance novels she loved so much.

"Mom? There is something I must tell you…"

Without looking up to her son, Judy turned the page of her book slowly.

"Is Mikaela pregnant? I told you to use condoms..."

Sam stared at her, horrified.

"NO! No, Mikaela isn't pregnant! And what we do together is a private matter!"  
"Even for Bumblebee? You did it in the back-seat once. I was told he was quite embarassed by the experience..."

Sam blushed. How had she known?

"We were drunk and we forgot he was there! And who told you that?"  
"Ratchet; he wasn't pleased with you getting intoxicated and called me as soon as he scanned you," she answered evenly.

Was it possible to die from sheer embarassment?

"Oh God..."  
"You didn't think your father grounded you just for being five minutes late for your curfew, did you?"  
"Well..." he started.  
"Nevermind," said his mother. "Is Bumblebee pregnant?"

This time, Sam choked. She hadn't really said what he thought she had said, did she?

"Wh... MOM! Be serious! How could he be pregnant? He's a giant robot, not an organic being!"  
"Well, you never know. Of course, he's not exactly the perfect son-in-law, but he would be a wonderful father... or mother figure," added Judy with a smile. "And you would make such a cute couple..."

Had someone drugged her? Then again, it wasn't the first time she had implied he was gay, especially after that one awkward moment with Miles when the latter had fallen from the tree he was climbing.

Fortunately for him, his fall had been partialy broken by Sam, who had been just under him at the time. Their faces had been so close at the time that they had almost kissed.

Unfortunately for them both, their parents had walked in at that exact moment; they hadn't understood the situation and rumors, as well as advice, had begun to fly...

Perhaps it was no wonder his parents had been so relieved when they had met Mikaela...

Still, he would prefer if they didn't bring it up anymore.

Sam tried very hard to not shout at his mother.

"Mom, Bumblebee and I are just friends. We're not even of the same species, and we are both guys! Technically in his case, but still... There's no way one of us could get pregnant, even if we were actually in a relationship, which, I repeat, we are not!"  
"He wouldn't say 'no' to you if you asked," she said quietly. "He really likes you a lot..."

Sam felt like crying. How could he argue with her? In a way, she wasn't exactly wrong. Well, perhaps Bumblebee did like him... Autobots didn't have a gender per se; as such, they didn't see problems in a relationship between two 'males' or two 'females', if they were happy.

Technically, Sam didn't have a problem either.

But he and Bumblebee were too different for anything to work between them! And even if they weren't, he had a very gorgeous girlfriend and he wasn't about to let her go, thank you very much.

"Mom, I'm not gay! I'm with Mikaela, for Christ's sake!"  
"Mikaela who happens to love your car from outer space almost as much as you," she reminded him. "And the way she washed him the other day was very suggestive..."

Sam blushed slightly, remembering exactly what Mikaela had been wearing at the time. The pink bikini suited her well... Still, his mother saw things which didn't exist!

"She was just wearing a swimsuit so she wouldn't get her clothes wet!"  
"I'm sure she was," said Judy, shaking her head.

Sam could be so naïve sometimes, though not as much as his father had been at that age.

"Anyway, where did you get the idea someone was pregnant?" asked the distraught teen, trying to change the subject.

Judy smiled knowingly.

"'There is something I must tell you' were the exact words I used to tell Ron and my own parents that I was pregnant with you."  
"...Oh."

He had never asked his parents about that. Come to think of it, a lot of people probably announced a happy event this way.

But here, he wasn't sure how she was going to take the news...

He was saved from a long explaination when his mother continued speaking.

"And even if nobody is pregnant, I assume you want to tell me exactly why we don't have a hair dryer anymore. Or why Bumblebee thought it would be better if he took the dishwasher with him last time he returned to the Autobots' base. And don't make me start on your computer which disappeared one night while you were in your room."

Sam gulped. So much for trying to be discreet and replace the aformentionned objects as soon as possible.

"You...you knew already?"

Judy nodded.

"Of course I knew, Sam. Your father, I'm afraid, has still no idea of what going on around here and I think we should keep it this way for a while. I don't think he will deal well with the news. I didn't anyway," she added after a few minutes.  
"But... how?" said Sam, dumbfounded.

Judy let her book drop on the floor and poked at the remote control that sat next to her on the armchair. The aforementionned remote control began to twist and make noise, until it was replaced by a miniature robot with blue optics.

Said miniature robot crawled on Judy's knees and looked at Sam with wonder.

Sam stared. He knew he had missed a few of the newly sparked mechs last time he had gone through the house, but he hadn't known the remote control was one.

Judy patted the small helm of the new Autobot with a calm expression.

"I knew something was up the moment the TV's remote transformed into a small robot when I tried to change the channel. Fortunately, he agreed to do so anyway. I think he doesn't like CNN that much. By the way, you should play with him more often; the poor thing was very unhappy to be ignored."  
"I... I didn't know he was one too..." tried to say Sam as he watched the little being purr under Judy's hand.

Judy frowned.

"Too? Sam, how many of them did you create?"

Sam thought for a few seconds.

"With this one, around fifteen already," he said quietly. Then something struck him. "How did you know it was me who created him? I mean, I wasn't even sure it was me or Mikaela when it first happened because we had both touched that motorbike..." babbled Sam without thinking.

Judy blinked.

"Motorbike? Not the one your friend Miles reported being stolen?"  
"Well... yeah, that one. But it wasn't as if we could just tell him 'Oh, by the way, I'm now some kind of mutant who randomly gives life to anything he touches and your new motorbike was the first of a long series'. He wouldn't have believed me... or he would have freaked out."  
"Does he know now?"  
"Well, I told him the basics. He's still trying to get used to Bumblebee, so I think I will wait a bit more before telling him the rest."  
"Very wise," nodded Judy.

There was silence for a moment. Sam looked more closely hat the remote controle. It was probably the smallest mech he had seen so far if he didn't count the phone at the Hoover Dam.

"You still haven't told me how you knew I had a problem."  
"Lets just say I had a long conversation with Ratchet the day I met him and he gave me his concerns about what the Allspark could have done to you."

Sam blinked.

"Why didn't he say anything to me?"  
"He thought you wouldn't listen. And you didn't each time he tried to approach the subject, so he was right. I was worried, of course. But in the end, I never saw anything wrong with you and I convinced myself you were fine. Or I thought until I saw Zap."

Sam stared at her with disbelief.

"Zap?"  
"I couldn't really call him 'Thing', could I?" answered Judy.  
"Hum, no, I suppose not..." the teen sputtered.

Another minute of silence passed. Judy was still playing with the little mech, who was enjoying the attention he was given. From time to time, he looked at Sam and tentatively smiled at him, but didn't leave the other human's side.

Sam supposed he could understand. 'Zap' knew his mother better than him, it was normal he trusted her, and he knew better than trying to take him in his hands himself right now.

He didn't want to have a repeat from the last incident with a frightened 'sparkling'.

Judy's voice made him stop his musings.

"So, from what you said, I have fifteen grandchildren already?"  
"Grand... Grandchildren?!" sputtered Sam. "Mom, they aren't..."

He stopped before finishing. They were children. Sparklings, like the Autobots called them. Even if they weren't human babies, his mother was right on this one.

"Sam, you created them, therefore you are their father... or mother, whatever. And as I'm your mother, I'm their grandmother," she explained calmly. "I don't mind, really. Of course, I would have preferred one from both you and Mikaela, but they will do for now. They're nice enough when you get to know them."  
"You just met this one..." protested Sam.  
"The TV is one too," said quietly his mother."And so is the DVD player. And the old mixer. Be careful around him; he attacked Mojo the other day. I think the actual number of your 'children' is closer to twenty already..."

Sam felt suddenly very, very tired.

Trust his mother to give him a headache and more things than he wanted to think about without even trying...

**End**


End file.
